3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
