WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
