At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Randomize
