what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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