Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
