no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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