I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just cropdusted the office
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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