i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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