Kareoke will never be a sober sport
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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