Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Someone signed my nipple.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
