come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
nutella sex= disaster
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
