Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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