She's like a pop up book from hell.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
