Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry tashaa11 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

(847): View more from Illinois

parking. I am not drunk

Fav 9 1343 858
share tweet
(857): View more from Massachusetts

seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

Fav 214 53079 3393
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.

Fav 9 5709 925
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

Fav 13 10098 2199
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

Fav 42 1519 6933
share tweet
(786): View more from Florida

HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.

Fav 30 7438 1260
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...

Fav 1 2322 1153
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.

Fav 18 1598 874
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done

Fav 0 62 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT