think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
