The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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