Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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