just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
