that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
