what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
