I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You've changed since you got that strap on
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
