I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
