you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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