I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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