im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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