i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
