I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
