I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
