Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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