38 yer olds are good kisserssss
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
