and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
