Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
