I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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