Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
