I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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