it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The power of my boobs compel you
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
