what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I smell stomach acid.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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