Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
