Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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