No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I currently don't understand fingers.
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