I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
