so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
