I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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