absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
