i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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