i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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