WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
