I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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