he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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