im having a threesome with these popsicles
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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