Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
