i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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