i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize