If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
