i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
