Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize