Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
