well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
