Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
