She's JV to your varsity
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
