I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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