The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
