I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
