Who wears a wallet chain?!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
