dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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