She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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