If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
