I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
