I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize