I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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