508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
