I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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