he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
