its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
