Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize