I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
