Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
