my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
