I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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