Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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