If that was your dad, he is hot
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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